Lyet's Nook in the Wall

2003-02-13T19:56:00.000-05:00

Urg, I hate it when the damn blogger breaks and I lose my whole entry. Here I go again.

Today this woman comes in and buys some books. No big surprise there. But when I ask her about the preferred reader card, she says, "I don't give out my information." I explain to her that I can ensure no one receives her information, but she says, "Oh no, I don't even want you people to have it." Then she smiles, quite smugly, and says, "I don't get any junk mail and I'm quite happy."

Well good for you, but I have some news for you. YOU AREN'T THAT IMPORTANT. Frankly, look at it this way: if I were a thief, would you be a good victim? Does someone REALLY want your $20,000 in consumer debt? I mean, come on, people. There's this odd idea that the world is full of people that are out to get you, just you, because you're somehow special. You aren't special. You're middle-class, you work 40 hours a week, you drive a shitty car, and you're pretty damn uninteresting. Okay, once in a while someone's identity will get "stolen," but I doubt it's because she put her address down on a preferred reader's card.

I wanted to ask this woman: did you go to college? Do you have a driver's license? Have you ever entered Publisher's Clearing House? Anyone who wants your identity can get it, and really, you should just save the 10% with the card and stop being a hardass about it. Your squalling infant is going to grow up to be an annoying eight year old who's going to broadcast your personal information all over the candy bar drive sheet, anyway, and it all will have been for naught.

I also hate people with no communication skills. Yesterday this guy comes up to me, 40ish, normal looking, and says, "Anthony Provost." It may have been another name, but I'm just making that one up here. He does not say, "Hello," or "How are you," or "Can you help me find a book?" He just says, "Anthony Provost," like we're in some sort of film noir espionage thriller and this is the code phrase. I walk over to the computer and whittle him down with questions. It comes out that Anthony Provost is the author's name, he does not know the title of the book, and yes, he is an inconsiderate person who treats retail employees like internet search engines. But I found his book and sent him on his merry way.

I think, if I had it to do over, I would have responded with "The eagle flies at midnight" and learned some Russian military secrets.

Fun stereotype of the day: teenie-boppers. They prance in, somehow having fallen off-course on their way to Deb and The Limited Too. They sweep toward the magazines, a wave of poofy-sweatered flare-jeaned thong-wearing pre-pubescent bottle blondes, obviously frightened of the big, scary books, and grab the latest issues of Cosmo and Glamour to learn how to orally satisfy their 14 year old boyfriends. To these girls I say: please, read something older than you are. And don't breed.

2003-02-10T11:49:00.000-05:00

So I changed stores recently. I've been looking to transfer to the Waldenbooks closer to home, and finally something opened up, making my commute a whole lot more pleasant (and short!). I've learned so far that some things are universal no matter what store you're in.

Since when is closing time a variable number? I don't know that I've ever been to a store where it said "Open 10 - 9:30, unless you REALLY need to find a book, in which case we'll stay open until 9:45, or until you're done looking." 9:30 means 9:30, and you'd better be out of the store by then.

I think we should be able to put people to work after 9:30. I just want to walk up to them and say, "Hey, thanks for sticking around to help out. While you're browsing the business section looking at books you have no intention to buy, why don't you take this vacuum and clean up the floor? Thanks." And then just walk away. Children can dust at an early age, and should be subject to the same rules. I have no tolerance for people who are so inconsiderate that they can't leave five minutes earlier to get to the store before we're ready to close.

We are not a library. We're very nice, and we'll let you browse until closing, but please do not read the entire book in the store. There's a woman, we'll call her M, who loves to special order romance novels from the warehouse. Not any romance novels, though: she orders in past monthlies.

There are a whole bunch of romance books that are designated "monthlies." They are the romance series books: the Harlequin, Regency, Silhouette, etc books that come out once a month and are numbered. Everyone has a whole month to pick out the ones they want. Then we destroy the unsold ones when the new month's come in.

M can't quite buy what she wants, so after the month has passed, she has us order in two or three monthlies from the warehouse, which we can usually do for a limited amount of time.

Two weeks ago M orders a book in, "Naked men who have huge muscles and a penchant for stereotypical female characters with no substance," or something like that. She calls about every other day to see if it's in. M works in the mall, mind you, and stops in almost every day, but has to call anyway. Finally I call her when her book comes in this past week. She comes in the next day and takes it into the romance section, where she sits for approximately three hours, blocking the entire "N" section of Fiction behind her. She then brings the book to me, the poor little paperback whose spine has been split in two places, and says, "I'm not going to take it. It's not that good."

She'd know, because she read the WHOLE DAMN BOOK in the section! Don't tell me it takes more than three hours to read one of those little smut parcels. I can read em in two and a half and M is much more accomplished than I. Anyway, I told my manager, and she said she was going to have a little talk with M if this continues.

Ha, M. Buy your smut one month at a time like everyone else.

2003-01-11T20:27:00.000-05:00

We have a teacher discount at Waldenbooks. It's called a W.I.S.E. Account. I don't know what the letters stand for, but Waldenbooks has an acronym for everything. The card is great; it's 20% off any books for classroom use.

Let me say that again. It's 20% off any books for CLASSROOM USE.

I am NOT fooled when you come up to the counter with a stack of Harlequin romance novels and three Lindor truffles, then slap your WISE card down in front of me and ask for your teacher discount. Of course, I have to give it to you, you obnoxious sod. Unless you're reading a bodice-ripper to your fourth grade class as an introduction to sex ed, you are NOT using those books for your classroom, and you should stop being a cheapskate and pay that damn 20% that everybody else has to pay. It really irks me, but all I can do is smile and tell you to have a nice day. But I'll definitely talk about you after you leave.

I don't like it when people treat me or my coworkers like idiots and try to take advantage of us. Case one: guy comes up to the counter. He just came from the audiobooks section, where everyone saw him browsing. He hands the bookseller an eighty dollar "Lord of the Rings" CD collection and says, "I'd like to return this. I lost my receipt."

This is what we do, all you would-be thieves out there. We walk three steps to our right and look in the computer under that ISBN number. It will say, likely, that we have 1 copy in our store, and we last sold it, oh, three months ago. At this point, we look at you like you are an IDIOT. We take you to the audiobooks section and point to the big hole right where "Tolkein" would go, and we say, "Our computer says we have one copy in the store, and unfortunately, this return of yours seems to be the only one here. I'm afraid I will need to see two forms of identification before I can do this return for you."

This is your clue to make a deft escape. You have an out, here. Most would-be thieves "forgot" their ID in their car, and we graciously offer to hold the audiobook until they return. They don't return.

Case two: Preferred Reader fraud. Guy comes up to the counter to buy a book. My coworker J asks if he has a preferred reader's card. The guy says, "Yeah, but I don't have my card." We can look you up in our computer, so J asks for the guy's name. He gives us the name of a main character in one of the sci-fi books he was buying.

J had already read the series. He smiles at the guy and says, "Wow, you have the same name as the character in this book! What a coincidence." Of course, the guy isn't in the computer under that name. He was just hoping we wouldn't check or something. Next time he came in, I'm glad to say he actually bought the card. Don't try to scam us by giving names out of books. We work in a bookstore, you moron. We read.

2003-01-11T20:12:00.000-05:00

Every month we get a returns list downloaded to our computers. We go through and scan the whole store, and some books go back entirely or get stocked down to only a few copies. It's the best part of working at a bookstore. It's kind of sick, really, but when I get ahold of that little receiving gun, it's like they've given me The Power. There's nothing as satisfying as hearing that little whoop-whoop noise it makes when you scan something that's going back. When something goes back where we have a million copies, like, say, Tom Clancy, it's cause for celebration. It'll be all quiet, and then you'll hear one of us holler "Hey! Red Rabbit's being stocked down to FOUR!!!" And there will be much rejoicing. Because really, we get enough stock for a store twice our size, and there's no place to put it all.

Sometimes, though, it's rather sad. Like when my coworker C comes up to me. She looks down at the book in her hand, then up at me, and says, "This is a Pulitzer Prize winning novel, and it's going back because it's not selling. On the other hand, we have 40 copies of Nora Roberts's newest book, and none of them are going back." And it's true.

Stephen King and Nora Roberts are literary whores. They serve a purpose, and people go to them for a quick fix, but really, there's no relationship formed. It's wham, bam, thank you ma'am, or like an addict shooting up for a brief high. No one really thinks they write great literature (or if you do, you shouldn't), but they're popular and they're insanely prolific. Nora Roberts, or should I say "Nora Roberts" comes out with a new book almost every month. She's not writing them. You have to be a brain-dead giraffe to think that she's writing them. Nora Roberts has ghost writers, probably a fleet of them, and the only thing she has to do is stand leaning against the doorway of her home looking smug.

Stephen King does his own writing, but still, I don't think he brings much more to the table than Nora Roberts does. A quick, brief high, then nothing. Like crashing from too much caffeine. Those of you out there who worship the guy, well, all the power to you, but if you had to shelve EITHER of these people's million books, you'd hate them too.

2003-01-11T00:34:00.000-05:00

Pre-Christmas Harangue: Why you should shop before Thanksgiving

Okay, so sometimes we make mistakes. We're human. This woman wanted a copy of "A Long Strange Trip," which is about the Grateful Dead. It's a popular book. My manager took the order, but he screwed it up a little (which happens to all of us). See, first of all, she was really mad that two weeks before Christmas, we didn't have the book she wanted. Because she, and only she, deserves to get whatever she wants right before Christmas. Our Special Orders take 7 to 10 days to come in. Hers, however, was ordered wrong. So the wrong book came in.

I got to deal with her. It was our mistake. I explained it kindly, and told her that we could get her another copy, but it would take 7 to 10 more days. I was also really nice and I apologized profusely. Understandably, she was upset, because she needed it for that coming Tuesday. (Some party or something. I don't know.) I called two other Waldenbooks for her, but no one had it. Then she sees a copy in the Special Order cabinet, and her eyes light up.

She asked me if she could have the other person's book. I explained to her politely that no, she could not have someone else's order. Her logic was that they probably needed it for Christmas, and since she needed it for Tuesday, she should get it. I explained to her (as nicely as possible) that they ordered it BEFORE her, which means that THEY get first dibs. She was infuriated that we wouldn't sell her someone else's book, because she was oh so very special. Eventually, to shut her up, I called Barnes and Noble and had them hold a copy for her.

This is the best part: then she went out to the little Day by Day Calendar Kiosk outside our store. We run it. We staff it, we own it, and it's Waldenbooks money when you buy something from it. She buys about three calendars and spends her entire checkout time bitching to the woman at the register (our staff member) about how terrible Waldenbooks is because we wouldn't sell her the other person's book, and how she's never shopping there again. She leaves the calendar kiosk after dropping about fifty dollars into Waldenbooks' pocket.

2003-01-11T00:24:00.000-05:00

What in the hell possesses you to call a bookstore and ask if we have a book if you don't know anything about the book? Knowing that it's about a boy who didn't like his mom and that the author's first name is "Diane" doesn't help very much. We always have people who do this. They do it when they come into the store, too.

Customer: "Excuse me, do you have that new book?"
Me: "And which book would that be?"
Customer: "The new one. It's by that guy, you know the one... he was on the Today show a couple of months ago."
Me, trying to be helpful: "Hmm, do you know the title?"
Customer: "No, I can't remember. I wrote it down, but it's at home. I think the word 'girl' was in the title. Or it might have been 'woman' or 'lady,' but definitely one of those words."
Me, a little more annoyed: "Do you know the author's name?"
Customer: "No, but you know the guy. Don't you watch the Today show?"
Me: "Sorry, I must have missed it." Thinking: I work a job, actually. I don't just sit on my ass and watch TV.
Customer: "*sigh* It has a blue cover."
What I'd like to say at this point is "Ooh, let me just look in our computer. I'll just type in 'books that are blue' and see what comes up!"

Sometimes I actually know what book they mean, and that scares me even more.

2003-01-11T00:05:00.000-05:00

Let's talk about working retail a little bit, shall we?

There are some people that come into Waldenbooks that just want to feel better about themselves. Fine. We have self-help books for that, and I can recommend some good ones. But then there are those who have to do it by making someone else feel like shit. Namely, those of us behind the counter. Really, is it necessary? Do you need to yell at me, just because you can?

If you insult someone who works in our store, we're all just going to talk about you behind your back. We're going to talk about your lack of a love life, your insignificant job, and (if you're male) the miniscule size of your penis. Wouldn't it be better just to be nice?

There's a woman who comes in every week or so, we'll call her Dragon Woman. I call her Dragon Woman because of my coworker's accurate description: when she comes into the store, it's like when the dragon enters the screen on your video game. Everything gets dark, and ominous music plays, and everyone wants to escape from the dragon.

Dragon Woman has been coming to Waldenbooks for years now. She works in Filene's. She spends hundreds of dollars here, but she won't get the Preferred Reader's card.

Let me explain the Preferred Reader's card to you. It costs you ten dollars a year. For this ten dollars, you save 10% on everything in the store (except magazines and gift certificates). Also, every dollar you spend is a point, and every 100 points we send you a $5 gift certificate. It's actually a pretty sweet deal, unless you're a neanderthal who doesn't read more than a few books a year.

Okay, so back to Dragon Lady. Dragon Lady refuses to get the card. She'll spend, like, $80 on books, then won't pay the extra $2 for the card. Why? We don't know. One year a store manager bought her the card. She came in all the time with those $5 certificates coming out of the wazoo. When it came time to renew, she wouldn't renew. I think she's a little crazy, personally.

2002-10-30T00:01:00.000-05:00

It is a good and happy thing when friends get engaged!! Happiness is contagious, and good things attract more good things, and a rising tide raises all ships! YAY for weddings and rings and girlie things!!

2002-10-18T08:50:00.000-04:00

So, I paid some bills last night. It was a rather exciting experience as I could check off all the amounts on my calendar. If I can come up with an extra $130 this month, I can even make my rent! Yay!

2002-09-30T23:23:00.000-04:00

VirtualStapler.com : Revolutionary Online Stapler Simulation

This makes me happy.

2002-09-25T01:13:00.000-04:00

We did it! We moved to our new server. Now we're at AT&T. For now, I'm just going to leave the site up on both places, but I'm going to put a new link up where my old index page used to be. Yay! It's exciting. Look for daily (or at least frequent) updates. And hot sex. Maybe. But definitely updates.

2002-09-25T00:33:00.000-04:00

*We're moving!!*

Okay, so this site is in the process of moving OFF the UMass server. Please, please, OFF the UMass server. We're moving to http://home.attbi.com/~lyet and we're moving there soon! So stay tuned. Yeah. Rawr.

2002-09-20T01:52:00.000-04:00

The Archives think I'm stupid. I think it's time for bed.

2002-02-09T19:29:00.000-05:00

Your mission, if you choose to accept it: you can only answer the questions using song lyrics. (it's harder than it sounds!)

1) Are you male or female?:

"A single white female is lookin for a man like you" - Chely Wright, Single White Female

2) Who are you?:

"I've got a mustang, it'll do eighty, you don't have to be my baby!"
-Martina McBride, When God-Fearing Women Get the Blues

3) Describe your neighborhood or city:

"Crickets are singing and the lightning bugs are floating on the breeze." -Nitty Gritty Dirt Band, "Fishin in the Dark"

*4 is missing*

5) What is love?:

"The smile on your face lets you know that you need me; there's a truth in your eyes saying you'll never leave me. The touch of your hand means you'll catch me if ever I fall." - Alison Kraus, "When You Say Nothing At All"

6) If you could say one thing to the person you love what would you say?

"Baby, you're the only one that's ever known how to make me wanna live like I wanna live now!" -Tom Petty, The Waiting

7) What's your secret?:

"But he's got hi-i-igh hopes, he's got hi-i-igh hopes!
He's got high apple pi-i-ie-in-the-sk-y-y hopes" - Frank Sinatra, "High Hopes"

8) What do you think about your best friend(s)?:

"Sometimes I'm clueless and I'm clumsy, but I've got friends that love me, and they know just where I stand." - Jessica Andrews, "That's Who I Am"

9) Any Advice?:

"Be not afraid; I go before you always." - "Be Not Afraid"

10) What do you think about drugs and alcohol?

"Don't do me like that." -Tom Petty, "Don't Do Me Like That"

11) If you could say one thing to your enemy what would it be?:

"All right, now go! Walk out the door! Just turn around now, cause you're not welcome anymore!" - Gloria Gaynor, "I Will Survive"

12) What do you usually do on Friday nights?:

"I smell sex and candy." - Marcy Playground, "Sex and Candy"

13) Are you for World Peace?:

"Imagine all the people sharing all the world." - John Lennon, "Imagine"

14) What would you do if you won a million dollars?:

"Come sail away, come sail away, come sail away with me!" -Styx, "Come Sail Away"

15) What do you think about your school?:

"Trading my time for the pay I get; living off of money that I ain't made yet." - Vogues, "Five O'Clock World"

16) How do you feel right now?:

"I should be sleepin instead of keeping these late hours I've been keeping." - Emerson Drive, "I Should Be Sleeping"

17) Any closing words?:

"Solid stone is just sand and water, baby. Sand and water and a million years gone by." - Beth Nielson Chapman, "Sand and Water"

2002-02-08T11:26:00.000-05:00

Give us this day our daily rant

Okay. So in October I apply for a grant to do my thesis. I'm going to a conference, buying books, etc. They give me $700. Fabulous. So I fill out and submit the paperwork, and wait for the grant.

Today I check my account online, because the conference starts in a month and I need a plane ticket. Lo and behold, I have a $205 excess check. But wait...why $205? Why not the $700 I had planned on?

Simple. See, there was a $495 fee increase this semester. Rather than bill my parents for this fee, as they pay my tuition, they used my GOD-DAMNED GRANT to pay it. So NOW, I have to call my parents and make them give me $495!! All because of the STUPID MOTHERFUCKING ASSHOLES who take a fucking RESEARCH GRANT and use it for TUITION!! Do they think i have an extra $500 lying around, or that my parents do? What kind of STUPID DICK-SUCKING MORONS work at this university???? Now I have to put the plane ticket on my credit card and ask my already-generous parents for MORE MONEY. I HATE UMass bureaucracy and I want to go POSTAL on the Whitmore administration building!

2002-01-27T01:58:00.000-05:00

You are constantly hoping that your good fellowship and attitude and your "love for your fellow man (or women)" will give you peace of mind .... You need people- You need people around you to care for you and to show you that they care. It is this hope that keeps you going...The hope that makes you the type of person that indeed you are. Your own need for approval seemingly makes you always ready to help others... and in exchange you seek love, warmth and understanding...You will always listen to others and you are open to new ideas which hopefully will prove fruitful and interesting.

You are working extremely hard trying to improve your image. You need for those people in positions that matter to recognise your potential and to acknowledge you.

You are confined and trapped in a distressing or uncomfortable situation, and seeking some way out. Whatever you seem to do to resolve the problem hasn't worked out. Fortunately you are able to gain some aspect of relief from someone close to you....

You are being unduly influenced by the situation that is all around you. You do not like the feeling of loneliness and whatever it is that seems to separate you from others. You know that life can be wonderful and you are anxious to experience life in all its aspects, to live it to the full. You therefore resent any restriction or limitations that are being imposed on you and you insist on going it alone.

You are anxious about all the limitations to which you are subjected to at this time.... You feel that you are not valued for what or who you are. You need OUT. So why procrastinate any longer .... MOVE!

Oh my god...take this. www.colorgenics.com

2002-01-26T13:19:00.000-05:00

Okay, do you REALLY understand how much thesis I haven't written? No, I didn't think so. Do you know school starts Tuesday? Well, I do, and this ain't pretty.

Oh, and grad school applications...yeah, well, one thing at a time.

2002-01-26T13:08:00.000-05:00

I'm the badass burgundy patent Doc Marten...
I'm cool as hell, I'm deep,
and maybe a little dark

Which Doc Marten are you?
(by *coffeebean*)

2002-01-20T20:26:00.000-05:00

I hate misunderstandings. Misunderstandings just suck, okay?

2002-01-14T00:39:00.000-05:00

Strawberry: 30/100 Pear: 20/100 Banana: 60/100 Tomato: 10/100 Lemon: 0/100

Take the What Fruit Are You? test by webkin and aaronr!

2002-01-14T00:37:00.000-05:00

Survey! Stolen from another site.

1. what you would like to be called: Leah, Lyet, Sweetheart (depends on the person)
2. your favorite fruit: strawberries, blueberries, raspberries, blackberries, etc.
3. the last novel you read: almost done with The Fellowship of the Ring.
4. if you could be any appliance, what would you be: An oven because I'm nice and warm and I like to stuff myself with food.
5. if you could be any condiment, what would you be: Catalina dressing! I'm perfect with anything.
6. do you like the smell of mothballs: No
7. do you eat french fries with vinegar: Sometimes.
8. the cd in your cd player: CD player? MP3s all the way.
9. the three people dead whom you'd most like to share a meal with: how about my three grandparents who are dead? i'd like that.
10. the three people alive whom you'd most like to share a meal with: Harrison Ford, David Duchovny, Orlando Bloom...hmm, does this have to just be a meal?
11. snickers or reeses peanut butter cups: Snickers.
12. james dean or brad pitt: James Dean.
13. the best way to die: Traumatically. No, actually, let me reconsider. I'll say in my sleep.
14. the best three-band lineup: (country line-up:) Toby Keith, Garth Brooks, Martina McBride (rock/pop): Barenaked Ladies, and I don't like many other people.
15. favorite movie quote: "You're an interesting species. An interesting mix. You're capable of such beautiful dreams...and such horrible nightmares. You feel so lost, so cut off, so alone. Only you're not. See, in all our searching, the only thing we find that makes the emptiness bearable is each other." - Contact
16. favorite television quote: Television? You mean something beyond my computer?
17. favorite lyrical quote: "And I've never felt good as I feel right now, baby, you're the only one who's ever known how to make me wanna live like I wanna live now."
18. favorite book quote: "Marvin K. Mooney, will you please go now!"
19. favorite poem quote:
"expose the two years
we proclaimed
holy enough
for the framed promise
happy in-love
to have crossed our feet
and let all over
direction slip
slowly aside" -bess fernandez
20. if you could be anyone for a day, who would you be: Britney Spears. I would eat all the fast food I could and get a breast reduction.
21. dead performer/broken up band you would love to see perform: Elvis!
22. the worst day of the week and why: Monday, because it IS.
23. best stanley kubrick movie: ---- He's weird.
24. worst stanley kubrick movie: ---- He's weird.
25. are you cold: Why don't you come over here and find out? ;)
26. how old are you: in dog years or in people years? In people years i'm 20.
27. how old do you wish you were: 21
28. do you like cheese: Yes. Unless it's covering my car.
29. are hamburgers truly gifts from the gods: Yes, but so is broccoli so perhaps the gods have a sense of humor.
30. is math really that bad: no, not really.
31. are you vegan: No, I eat vegans.
32. is bin Laden really such a bad guy: Yes. How can you ask that?
33. do you own any pokemon accessories: Umm...I have a Pikachu doll that moves his ears and says his name.
34. have you ever watched a full episode of sailor moon: Yes! I love that show.
35. is your favorite television show a cartoon: No.
36. would you rather smoke crack or do "e": I'd rather keep all my brain cells.
37. is leopard or zebra print nicer: Umm...on my sheets? Leopard.
38. would you rather be a librarian or a garbageman: Librarian.
39. why are feminists so angry: What kind of question is that, huh? ;)
40. what is the meaning of life: The hokey pokey is what it's all about.
41. would you rather be catholic or jewish: I am catholic.
42. is swiss cheese better than brie: Only for eating.
43. do you sew: When it is unavoidable, yes.
44. would you rather be goth or emo: What's emo? I'd rather be human.
45. isn't indiana jones great: I don't know...I haven't been to bed with him yet. ;)
46. would you rather have no teeth or no ears: no ears. providing i couldn't get false teeth.
47. is Jesus really such a bad guy: Jesus rocks my world.
48. would you rather be christopher reeve or elian gonzalez: Reeve
49. would you rather be archie or jughead: Umm...I don't do comics.
50. would you rather be betty or veronica: See answer to number 49.
51. would you rather be a moose or george washington: Well, is the moose alive? Because George Washington is dead.
52. would you rather be God or Jesus: God.
53. would you rather have leprosy or the black plague: Heh heh. I'd vote but my hand just fell off.
54. did punk die as soon as sid did: what?
55. are you a radical angry feminist who listens to huggy bear and the indigo girls: Perhaps. Perhaps not.
56. would you get a genital piercing: Sure. If I were sure it wouldn't hit a nerve.
57. should we give peace a chance: Well I can't speak for peace, but we should definitely give peas a chance.
58. what is the best war movie: Umm.... The Bridge on the River Kwai
four movies that made you think:
1. Bridge on the River Kwai
2. The Matrix
3. Lord of the Rings
4. Contact

four celebrities you would have sex with:
1. Harrison Ford
2. David Duchovny
3. Orlando Bloom
4. Antonio Banderas
5. Pierce Brosnan
6. Oh what? Just four? Sorry.

four vacations you have taken:
1. Poland, Maine
2. Florida (to visit friends)
3. Jackson Hole, Wyoming
4. My boyfriend's arms (awwwww)

four things you'd like to learn:
1. The harp
2. Photography
3. Pee standing up (I'm working on it)
4. More juggling tricks!

four beverages you drink frequently:
1. Milk
2. Water
3. Sprite
4. Root beer

four things you do when you're bored:
1. Something on the computer
2. Read
3. Jill off
4. Shop

four things that never fail to cheer you up:
1. Roses
2. Compliments
3. A good book
4. A big kiss :)

2002-01-11T14:23:00.000-05:00

My poem goes up next week on CleanSheets!! Here's the link:

http://www.cleansheets.com/poetry/makuch_01.16.02.shtml

2002-01-08T15:31:00.000-05:00

So I'm kinda sorta on the way with my thesis. I did write both personal statements, though. Oh! And got my recommendations done, phew. Now I just have to assemble everything and mail it. Or hand-deliver it.

2002-01-05T13:50:00.000-05:00

Okay. Here it is, the 5th of January, and I have a to-do list. Chris is at work for the day so it is just ME and the LIST. Today I will:

*Make business cards
*Complete my personal statement for Grad School applications
*Write at least five pages of my thesis

My goals for the day, in addition to the above, include:

*Distribute two of those business cards (make two contacts)
*Finish all my grad school applications
*Email Prof. Espada to ask where my recommendations are
*Write ten pages of my thesis
*Clean the apartment.

Okay, now I'm closing all the windows of Internet Explorer and I'm buckling down. But first I'm going to use the bathroom. Nobody gets me until the work is done!!

2002-01-02T18:48:00.000-05:00

Hi! So it's been a while since I posted. Just wanted everyone to know that I'm all right and my blue belt test went great! Happy New Year!!

2001-12-07T22:48:00.000-05:00

Just wanted to send a shout-out that I'm testing for my blue belt in eleven hours. W00t for that! Wish me luck.

2001-11-29T23:26:00.000-05:00

Thursday, November 29th.

11:13 pm.

51,181 words.

191 pages.

One Novel.

Yes, folks. Tuesday night, I passed the 50,000 word mark. Tonight I finished the resolution and broke it up into chapters. It even has a title: Through the Brass Medallion. Do you think that's cheesy? Well who asked for your opinion, anyway? I love it. Does it suck? Well, the correct questions to ask are these: 1) Do some mothers have ugly children? Yes. 2) Do they know that? No.

So, do you want to read this thang? Please note: I have not read it yet. I've only spellchecked it. So if it contradicts itself, deal, because the world is full of uncertainty.

And a big old W00T for finishing a whole day early! It is not those who write great things rarely who are true writers; it is those who rarely write great things. Celebrate being prolific! I declare tomorrow National Celebrate Being Prolific Day. So if you have 12 children or write often, celebrate. Buy yourself a new car. Or a pen. You deserve both.

And now, without delay: Through the Brass Medallion.

2001-11-24T14:03:00.000-05:00

The morning after last night.

So I made it to 40,266 words last night at about 12:30. That isn't too bad at all. In fact, I hope to reach 45,000 today. Yeah, today, before bed. Last night it worked because there were no distractions, and that's what I'm going to shoot for tonight. I've never pulled 5,000 words in one day before. It will be a new challenge. I'm starting now, because by 11:00, it's not going to be quite as much fun. I'm going bowling tonight, though. Yeah, bowling. Cool. And in about a half-hour I'm going to watch "October Sky," because it's in the machine, so if my novel starts taking this turn about rockets, that's where it's coming from. Sustain the creative impulse at all costs.

Maybe that'll be my new slogan: Lyet's Nook in the Wall: sustaining the creative impulse at all costs. Hmm. Could work.

Further thoughts on novel writing: well, this is my fourth novel. I'm expecting the letdown that always comes when finishing it. After I completed my first novel, I described it as losing your best friend. This novel has been a trial and a triumph over these last 23 days, and I'll be sad to leave it behind. Of course, I have my thesis to work on. And once my thesis chair gets a whiff of the fact that I wrote 200 pages in 30 days, I think my little "ten pages a week" of thesis won't cut it anymore. She's going to want more. She's going to want me to Nano the whole thesis. And sure, I'll do that. But it'll surely suck. :)

Until 45,000 words, no blogger. Meet me right before the climax. I promise, it'll be worth hanging around for.

2001-11-23T23:41:00.000-05:00

Okay, so this is where it all starts. This is where I crack down, turn off ICQ, Instant Messenger, and ALL windows of Internet Explorer, and write this novel. And write and write until my fingers go numb. Then I get up tomorrow and write some more. Because I won't leave on Sunday to go back home and see my boyfriend until I'm at 45,000 words, by hook or by crook, and this thing is nearing its final hurdle. Sure. There's a climax coming. We've got characters, exposition, bad dialogue, cliches, sorcery, people living in a library, blizzards, hot chocolate and sex. I think this novel's about ready to be wrapped up.
For tonight? 40,000 words. No exceptions. No pussyfooting around tonight. I will make 40,000 words or NOBODY SLEEPS, GOT IT? 40,000, not 39,000 and change. 40,000. Because I'll finish this damn thing by Tuesday, TUESDAY, so I can edit and divvy it up into chapters. Which should add some pages. Yeah, rock on. And come up with a title, too.
So until 40,000 words, no more blogger. And no more sleep. And if I get really fired up, no more bathroom breaks.

See you on the other side.

2001-11-21T21:58:00.000-05:00

My goodness! I will post again later tonight, most likely, but here's a big W00T to pulling 3000+ words outta...somewhere...tonight! Still writing as we speak. As a matter of fact, two of my characters are engaged in a passionate clinch on the floor as I type this. I wasn't planning on this happening yet, but they jumped on each other and my efforts to separate them were in vain. Hope someone brought a condom. Do sorcerers carry STDs?

If you want me to post a link to this novel, Email me.

2001-11-21T17:05:00.000-05:00

Craziness...last night (actually, this morning, at about 2:30) one of my characters wrote himself a plot twist. I didn't see it coming. He was upset, suddenly, and my heroine asked him what was wrong, and all of a sudden he started spilling all this information about his past and this person he used to know, who turned out to be my heroine's grandmother! No one was more surprised than me. I said, "Corrian, what are you doing?" but he just continued with his story, leaving me flabbergasted and with sore fingers from transcribing everything he was saying. It just goes to show you that after a hundred pages or so, your characters decide who they are and finish the story for you.

I can't wait to find out how it ends.

2001-11-19T00:32:00.000-05:00

Wow, life is cool. I have been very busy. I'm writing a Novel in a Month!! That's right; www.nanowrimo.com. My novel can be found...on my computer, because it sucks so I don't want to host it. Or maybe I do. Email me and tell me if you want to read it so far (92 pages as of tonight). If you want to read it, I'll put it on my website. Or post little entries here. Tempt your fancy.

The first person to email me with a plot twist will get to have it happen. In some form. So email me! lyet@ne.mediaone.net. Ha. Blog that.

2001-09-05T23:15:00.000-04:00

Blog it already. No getting in for ME. After reviewing my sentences, I would be "better off taking an undergraduate class." Yeah, well, which one? How about the creative writing fiction undergraduate class that UMass DOESN'T OFFER??? Nice to apply to an MFA program in fiction next year having had NO creative writing fiction classes available to me! Sure, everything happens for a reason, blah blah, but I am still annoyed. Blog that, Sam Michel.

2001-09-02T00:32:00.000-04:00

Blog this, please. I'm a spit away from getting into an MFA Creative Writing workshop. For those of you that don't know, MFA is Master of Fine Arts, and when your school is number ten in the country for Creative Writing and you are a lowly undergrad and the workshop is limited to fourteen people, it is a very, very big deal.

So my email gets bounced around a little from professor to professor, lands on Sam Michel who is happy to consider me...could he please see a writing sample? So I pull out stories, my novel, my thesis (in progress), what to send? Here's the catch...could I please send a few sentences of my work? A paragraph? Not too much, please.

Go summarize your ability to write into a paragraph, creative fiction, and make it good. Because this isn't just to get into a workshop. Noooo....I want into the program next year. And if I can get into a workshop, I have been told, it is a foot in the door for the program. They don't like taking UMass graduates into the UMass MFA program. Of course, they don't know yet how fabulous I am.

So here is my sample, ripped from the middle of a short story called "Innocent." If you want to read it, email me at lyet@ne.mediaone.net.

"The tenth had his ladder lined up so perfectly with the panes of my
window that I couldn't see it. I just walked up and swung both halves of
the window outward, knocking that window washer down seven stories of high rise. His ladder tore through one striped café awning and just missed a pair of women, instead smashing down onto the roof of a pea-green Volkswagen. The window washer landed on a polyester-suited businessman, who thus became number eleven.
"The next...it was in hard winter. The mailman was just walking under the eaves of the house, letters in his hand, when I slammed the back door to keep the cold air out. I heard the soft "whump" noise of a body falling face-first into the snow. He looked like he was making a snow angel. The icicle wasn't even fully melted when we found him.by then, he was number twelve."

Yeah, blog that. Wish me luck getting in.

2001-07-08T23:10:00.000-04:00

Blog THIS. Yeah. So I went whitewater rafting yesterday for the first time. I went with the UMass Outing Club down the Deerfield River, which is class 3 and 4 rapids (5 is the highest) so no weakling stuff for us. It was a blast. A wet, cold blast. We lost two people right away on the first rapid, the wussie one, because the boat started going sideways and they didn't. But we got them right back in and I was the proud puller-inner of the second girl, Erica. The rest of the trip was a successful ride. Now we're planning a mid-September trip to Maine to raft the Dead River and the Kennebec River. I recommend whitewater rafting to anyone who likes those "river rapids" rides at Six Flags and Busch Gardens, and wants to try it ten times faster with no seatbelts or chairs.

2001-06-03T15:20:00.000-04:00

Riiiiiiiiight. So this week I learned that I own more stuff than the rest of the Western Hemisphere combined, and I learned this thanks to the novelty that is "moving." I just moved across the parking lot of my apartment complex, but I did it by hand and without boxes. Lyet Furniture Movers, now employing Loving Boyfriend Chris for heavy things. So by day 5 of the Great Crap Relocation Program (G.C.R.P., coming soon to an apartment near you) I decided that I am never moving again. I think dying here is preferable to going through this one more time. Ah, but moving is like giving birth: you don't quite remember how bad it really is, or else you would never go through it again. I'm sure next year at this time, when I decide to haul all my stuff somewhere bigger and better, I won't remember the pleasures this relocation brought me. Somebody remind me.

2001-05-21T23:39:00.000-04:00

So this is just to test this thing out. I got shown Blogger by Christophe of "The Inner Christophe" fame. My latest goings-on? Well, today I finished my website on Black Holes; it's my Cosmology final project. Ooh, exciting. It can be found for your viewing pleasure at this link. Have fun, and I'll keep ya updated.